Comments on Adventures in wanting: Here's to serotonin

I am surprised he said your depression is severe a...

2010-02-14T18:51:21.518-08:00

I am surprised he said your depression is severe as well, but it makes sense what you are saying about the anxiety.

I have used Lexapro and it worked very well for me. I hope it does for you as well :)

I also hate taking headache medicine. I feel like it doesn't do anything.

I took Lexapro, and I was almost "over-happy" on i...

2010-02-11T20:17:55.164-08:00

I took Lexapro, and I was almost "over-happy" on it. Not in a bad way, but in a way that I noticed things just really didn't bother me, including food and weight concerns. I gained weight, and it didn't bother me. I was proud of it. I had a different perspective. I didn't have any side effects at first, but then it induced a manic kind of rapid-cycling where I was crying and overwhelmingly anxious one minute and totally fine and wondering what the heck was wrong with me the minute before. Once I had been in that spot, going back down on the dose was a no-go. I haven't done that well since, but I have found a stable happy-place with a low dose of Lamictal, which is a mood-stabilizer but is also "activating." I didn't even realize that I *was* depressed ... until I wasn't anymore. It's amazing how much easier everything is ... from the practical doing of things to thinking. For me, it was more about balancing anxiety moreso than depression, but it's the other side of depression and so I guess mostly the same thing. Balance is balance, and I haven't had any untoward/intolerable side effects. I wish you the best and hope this works for you!

i am hoping to be medicated soon, i have always t...

2010-02-11T19:30:53.878-08:00

i am hoping to be medicated soon, i have always taken myself off them for no reason but because i wasnt eductaed enough, or reliable enough, or didnt want to see taht damn lady again. so its time to pick it up and put happiness first, that means getting the right ones, getting the prescription filled, taking them daily, and seeing the damn woman again when they run out.
good luck!!! i love your blog xx

You can take out the word "medication" and substit...

2010-02-10T08:00:30.866-08:00

You can take out the word "medication" and substitute it for any number of things one tells herself she'd never want to do. Looked at this way, it's easy to see the prejudice is in our own heads. (Gosh, don't I know it!?)

As an aside, I know people who have taken meds for a finite period of time. Their recovery included meds--but was not only meds.

kim, you know lexapro works really well for me. ho...

2010-02-09T21:52:16.824-08:00

kim, you know lexapro works really well for me. however, it took me quite a while to adjust to it. i was miserable, until i started feeling so much better. not everyone has that though.

wow, it's amazing how you've coped on your own. you have a powerful mind and will.

i hope this really helps with your mood. and makes life easier.

i used to cry so much every day. now, i cry when there's very good reason. my sister still cries every day. that's hard.

I remember feeling surprised AND relieved when a t...

2010-02-09T21:10:39.485-08:00

I remember feeling surprised AND relieved when a therapist told me how depressed I was. It sounds strange to say that it came as a relief, but honestly, I thought that I would feel like crying every day (not that I did cry, I just felt like it) for the rest of my life and that it was "normal". I still remember the day, living in Philly, when I looked outside, saw that the trees had green leaves on them, and I actually felt a glimmer of hope rather than hopelessness.
Anyway...
I'm someone who was on meds and responded well to them, went off them and crashed, and went back on them so that I could deal with life. However, as things have changed in my life (maybe my chemistry, who knows?), I've been able to successfully keep that old 'black dog' (depression) at bay without meds. I still worry about the downs that I occasionally have, and I'm a bit paranoid about depression too. Life, at times, seems 'too good' to be true.
I will say that if I ever do register a major downswing, I will not hesitate to take action - amp up therapy and go back on meds. I know that they do not work for everyone, sometimes it takes time to find the right "fit", but they can make a huge difference.

Okay, I'm one of those people rather wary towards ...

2010-02-09T19:31:55.065-08:00

Okay, I'm one of those people rather wary towards medication. I think our society is a heavily medicated society, too easily falling to chemical drugs to treat what I believe it spiritual and mental, not biological.

But like you, I'm gonna try to keep an open mind about this. I do understand that some people really need some sort of medication, a reverse treatment to heal the biological part before they can get to the mental and spiritual part. So...I'm interested to see your progress in this. Thanks for being willing to keep us updated!

I definitely understand your reluctance to going o...

2010-02-09T15:15:06.969-08:00

I definitely understand your reluctance to going on meds. My therapist has been strongly suggesting an anti-depressant for some months but I keep holding out in the hopes that I can overcome the depression without chemical aid. Something out not feeling my true emotions kind of freaks me out. I can't wait to hear how it works out and I hope it helps alot!

My approach to meds is pretty much exactly what yo...

2010-02-09T08:33:39.906-08:00

My approach to meds is pretty much exactly what you described in the first two paragraphs of your post. Sometimes I wonder if we were separated at birth.

That being said, I am so glad that you're giving the Lexapro a try. Think of it as a challenge to some of those mindblocks relating to control and deprivation. It sounds like it could really benefit you, and I doubt the doctor would recommend it for you if he didn't think it was warranted.

Definitely keep us updated on how you're doing!
<3

Good luck. I hope it helps

2010-02-09T07:58:00.244-08:00

Good luck. I hope it helps

I can too, can relate to the whole anti-meds thing...

2010-02-09T07:41:17.398-08:00

I can too, can relate to the whole anti-meds thing. I tried to come off anti-depressants late last year because I foolishly thought that the new recovered me was entirely down to my own hard work, rather than drugs. However after doing this my mood plummeted, and now I'm back on them, better off and wiser! Now I figure that if I can improve my mental functioning and prevent relapse with a drug, then I should be able to do this without feeling guilty. Why should anyone be chastised, by themselves or others, for looking after their mental health?

Sarah x

A Sudafed knocks me out, so I'm on the "no meds fo...

2010-02-09T05:17:15.399-08:00

A Sudafed knocks me out, so I'm on the "no meds for Abby" boat as well...except I've been on Prozac for the past few years. While I don't stay in bed all day and avoid "life" like I think seriously depressed people should, I kind of wish I could. Is that extra push each day to actually get out of bed what separates things? Is it the drugs? I have no idea, but what I do know is there's no harm in trying to find a healthier way to deal with your issues.

I don't know if the drugs "work" for me--especially given that I'm a bit underweight, rendering them more ineffective--but I'm leery to go without for fear I'll self-destruct. At the meeting with "the therapist" last week, she suggested I try Cymbalta instead, but there's no generic equivalent (meaning I can't afford $80 a month to try it.) Since there's a generic Prozac, I feel stuck that route.

I look forward to hearing how things turn out for you. And, I need to borrow Larry Thursday, as we're having our monthly office "pizza party/meeting" where Abby is the only one who brings her own lunch and listens to all the women talk about their diets. OK? We'll plan on that, then.

Goodluck with the Serotonin! I do hope it helps :)...

2010-02-09T03:03:01.765-08:00

Goodluck with the Serotonin! I do hope it helps :). If it's worth anything, I think Lexapro is a good drug to trial. It is what I recommend to my girls as a first try drug often. I however am actually allergic to it! I seem to have significant sensitivity to most AD's, no idea why *sigh*... I'm like you, I spent most of my life avoiding meds... until I reached a point where I couldn't cope anymore and now I NEED them for various ailments. I still avoid meds that I don't absolutely need, but I notice the difference in the ones that I use.

I really do hope it helps dear Kim, cause while you do function okay as you are... it would be nice for your life to be better if it can be. That might be scary.. but it would be good :). YOu have come so very far and I'm glad you're taking the next step.

Love you xo

Meds are so complicated! I've been on and off SSRI...

2010-02-09T01:43:23.951-08:00

Meds are so complicated! I've been on and off SSRIs since I was 16 (10 years), and I know the one year I stopped cold, all of the social anxiety I had felt as a teenager came flooding back. I could no longer look strangers in the eye. It was so isolating. I've been on citalopram for about two years now (I think that might be the equivalent of celexa or lexapro in the US?) But I love it. No side effects at all...I think the first week or so it might have been a bit harder to fall asleep, but after that...I just feel like myself again. Is that weird? To need meds to feel like myself? Is it accepting that the 'real me' is a debilitatingly shy, emotionally fragile person? I don't know. Love, CG

Everyone expects me to be anti-meds because I've h...

2010-02-09T01:40:26.586-08:00

Everyone expects me to be anti-meds because I've had such consistently bad reactions to them, but I've also met people for whom they definitely work. It's an entirely individual thing, some people are not going to be helped at all by them, some people might even get worse, but some people are going to find taking them life changing. I've read quite a few articles which suggest that people who don't respond to them may have a former of bipolar disorder rather than unipolar depression, and I would not be surprised if that turned out to be true in my case. But you said you've had a good response to them before, so there's no reason why the same thing won't happen again. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you! I agree with the others in that medication is medication, if you had a medical condition that could be seen on blood tests there wouldn't be this stigma - actually I'm not sure that the world is too far away from developing blood/urine tests for depression, so if anyone gives you trouble, give it five years then go wave test results in their face and tell them where to stick their judgements :P

I empathise with your attitude towards medication in general, and I only take painkillers when I would otherwise keel over too, but you ARE doing a really cool thing. You're trying to fix a chemical imbalance that's making you feel bad. You are taking control. It's all good :)

Thought-provoking post.. certainly a complicated i...

2010-02-09T00:40:24.480-08:00

Thought-provoking post.. certainly a complicated issue. Sometimes a bit of skepticism is healthy.

A couple of articles you might find really interesting:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/magazine/10psyche-t.html

http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/labnotes/archive/2008/02/25/depressing-news-on-antidepressants.aspx

Good luck, and I hope you get to feeling better soon. :)

"I've read self-help books, which really only depr...

2010-02-08T23:34:14.064-08:00

"I've read self-help books, which really only depressed me more because the theories for feeling better sounded so simple, and yet I couldn't get them to work for me."

That's exactly how I feel about recovery from my ED and depression. It all sounds so simple on paper! Why, oh why can't I do it!!!

I love Larry's bit of wisdom. I am a major wishy-washer, indecisive, try-to-be-nice, people pleaser. It drives some of my type A family members crazy.

As for meds, I have pretty much lost faith in them after trying Zoloft, Zeprexa, Prozac, and Wellbutrin. None of them every helped a bit...in fact the Zeprexa--the docs feel--probably made things a lot worse. After being on some kind of serotin blend for years, I'm now on nothing...and feel the same. I really don't trust things messing with my brain, anymore. Not that I wouldn't try something if the doctors thought it would really help.

I don't mean to discourage you, though. I really hope that works! And there is a great chance of it if you had luck with it before. Some people (like me, obviously) just aren't very receptive. All the best!!

P.S. I'm having a giveaway: http://justaudreyblog.blogspot.com/2010/02/glass-dharma-straws-giveaway.html

you're too funny for your own good ;) i'm glad tha...

2010-02-08T22:51:10.837-08:00

you're too funny for your own good ;) i'm glad that we're med-buddies now ;) and i really hope that it brings some relief for you.

The olympics are THIS FRIDAY? How did I forget??? ...

2010-02-08T20:17:42.907-08:00

The olympics are THIS FRIDAY? How did I forget???
Great post about the meds- I've also had this weird thing about avoiding meds as much as possible because I always have this mentality that whatever I have isn't bad enough to warrant medicinal-use. I do use advil though...because it's the best cure-all for headaches :).
Good luck with the Lexapro- I've heard a lot of good stuff about it and I hope it makes the positive impact!

I absolutely relate to the not liking to take medi...

2010-02-08T19:46:35.743-08:00

I absolutely relate to the not liking to take medicine thing. For me it's definitely a not-needing thing. Or an I'm stronger than this thing. So it was a huge step for me to actually take something for depression. I take Lexapro too--I don't know how much it has actually helped me and I'm thinking of trying to change and find something that might work better. But I hope it works for you.

I too was shocked when I was told I had very severe depression. Really? I don't lay in bed all day. Right, Jessie.

Here's to serotonin!

THE OLYMPICS!!! i forgot too....

2010-02-08T19:19:55.820-08:00

THE OLYMPICS!!! i forgot too....

Oh the lovely field of psychiatry. My experiences ...

2010-02-08T18:17:40.465-08:00

Oh the lovely field of psychiatry. My experiences have been nothing short of horrific. Not a pleasant viewpoint on my end.
Medication....i understand you...in fact I am of the "refusal" mode as well.
Some family members respect it...they have experience themselves and do not "think down" on one taking it....
would you not take your insulin if you were diabetic?...would u neglect your tegretol and succumb to the seizures?
I understand u...if u do choose it....and there appears to be little other sources of relief...trying is trying...may as well see...
Kay Redfield Jamison wrote that she felt some mixed feelings about her lithium as well. But, she came to respect them.
I will say not to feel like a failure.
And I relate to the irritation stormy nature. I can be hard to be around.

Like you I have issues taking medication. I haven...

2010-02-08T16:53:43.293-08:00

Like you I have issues taking medication. I haven't taken even a Tylenol in at least 4 years because even that hurts my stomach. That being said, if there was something that could help me with my stomach problems I would probably try it out. If there was a possibility of taking a pill and not having to worry about my stomach hurting from gluten, soy, etc. I would probably give it a shot.

No harm in trying something, right? I really hope this works for you! You deserve to be happy.

I'm open about my Effexor-taking ways, maybe it ma...

2010-02-08T16:28:10.433-08:00

I'm open about my Effexor-taking ways, maybe it makes some people uncomfortable, but frankly, I'm proud to be living proof of the field of psychopharmacology. For awhile I was "bad" about taking it though. I wouldn't take it on a schedule, thought skipping days here and there was no biggie...well I can honestly say that I do see the err of my ways now, a year later. I take it "religiously" now, and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I need meds to remain stable.

I can also relate to your feelings of wanting to be "different"..I was like, "how can my depression be so lame that I need SSRIs? Doesn't EVERYONE need that? I should be special"...haha wow my neurosis is oh too clear sometimes.

Hope your new med does the trick, I'll be around to hear about it, in 4-6 weeks ;)